Focus on the good in others

Feeling frustrated with or hostile towards somebody in your life? An incredibly simple yet powerfully effective exercise is to make a list, either in writing or in your mind, of all the qualities you love about this person. These qualities can be anything at all, including physical, mental, or spiritual qualities, and they can be mundane or extraordinary. An example of the physical qualities could be that this person has a great sense of style or lives a very active lifestyle. A mental quality you enjoy could be that this person is very gifted in the sciences or loves to share information with others. A spiritual quality may be that this person is very present in their interactions with others or that they are dedicated to living authentically. The possible list of qualities you enjoy in another are endless.

The point here is that in every given situation we have a plethora of things we can focus our attention on. There is never just one truth or one set way of looking at things in any of our life experiences; there are always a multitude of factors that comprise our physical reality.
For example, say you're in a coffee shop with a friend, and your friend is excited about something and is talking a bit loudly and arousing glances from other customers. You could on one hand choose to feel annoyed with your friend because you feel like they should keep their voice down to avoid the attention of others around you. When you react with a feeling of annoyance, it may seem like you do not have a choice in the matter, but in fact you very much do have control over what you focus on.
You see, if you were to approach the situation from a different angle, you might choose to focus on the fact that your friend is clearly excited about what they are talking about, and feel grateful to have such a passionate person to hang out with. Sure, others may glance your way, but you don't care, because you're just enjoying listening to and sharing in your friend's enthusiasm.

In another example, say your significant other has a certain habit that gets on your nerves. Every time you see them engaging in this habit, you feel your blood boiling and you just want to leave the room and/or scream at them to stop what they are doing. A more gentle and ultimately more effective approach would be to divert your attention to something else that didn't arouse such intense negative emotions. If you want to stop feeling so upset over what your partner does, make it a practice to simply ignore whatever it is that you dislike. Instead of focusing on what you do not like in your partner, bring your attention to what you do like in them. Make a list if you have to, and come up with as many positive qualities as you can think of. What were the qualities that initially drew you to this person? When this person is at their best, how do they carry themselves? What are the talents and strengths of this person?

You see, by doing this exercise you will be shifting your energy from what you do not want to what you do want. Since the Law of Attraction is always at work in your life, you will have shifted your point of attraction from a place of negativity and things you do not want to a place of positive energy and things you do want.
Further, you will not only be feeling better by focusing on the good qualities about your partner, but you will also be moving from a place of hostility and judgement towards a place of love and acceptance. This shift will not only benefit your own well-being, but also the well-being of your partner. Even if your partner does not consciously realize that you are being more accepting of their habits and ultimately who they are in their current state, they will pick up on your vibes on some level and thus feel better about your relationship. From a place of contentment with your relationship, they will likely tone down on their habit, unless it is a habit that has no inherent ill effects, in which case, it was probably an over-reaction or misjudgment on your part anyway.

Now, you can use this exercise for anybody at all, including yourself, your friends and family, the person waiting on you at the bank, or whoever else you come into contact with. Whenever you notice yourself starting to think negative thoughts about another, do whatever you can to shift your attention to the good qualities of the person. If you are doing this for yourself or any close relationship in your life, I suggest you look over or review this list every day and whenever you start to think negative thoughts. Negative thoughts hurt your being, you see. They only cause dis-ease in your body, mind, and spirit.

If you or another practice a harmful and/or abusive behavior, of course you should not stand by and allow it to continue to happen. Sometimes action is required to protect yourself or others, but that doesn't mean you can't focus on the positive aspects of the situation. If you're able to notice the harmfulness of your own or another's behavior, be grateful that you are aware of this. Awareness is the first step to making any kind of meaningful change. Sometimes we can transform another's behavior through our thoughts, or more accurately, through the way we view and treat another, but this isn't always the case. In such cases, we need to leave any situations where our own safety is at risk. A good thing to remember here is that we do not have control over anyone's thoughts, feelings, or actions except for ourselves. Once we truly take in and understand this idea, we become extremely empowered and learn to become positive co-creators in our lives (co-creating with Source or Spirit of course).

Even if we do not inspire others to change their behaviors or qualities, at least we can be inspired by the fact that our attitudes and reactions to the behaviors and qualities of others are completely within our control. Of course, we have little chance of changing how we perceive and react to others and our life experiences unless we are able to be mindful in our lives. Start to cultivate your awareness by simply noticing what kinds of thoughts you are thinking and what kinds of emotions you are feeling. When we are thinking negative thoughts or feeling unwanted emotions, that is a good signpost that we are on the wrong track. If you desire to live a peaceful, joyous life, do whatever you can to divert your negative thoughts to thoughts of relief or thoughts coming from a place of love and acceptance of what is. Furthermore, as soon as you become aware that you are feeling a negative emotion, do whatever you can to feel better. You can do this by thinking of all the things in your life you feel grateful for, by focusing on all the things you love about yourself and others, or simply by doing something you enjoy and that lifts your spirits.

The better you feel, the more your thoughts will reflect your true nature of love and infinity; conversely, the more your thoughts reflect your true nature, the more joyful and at peace you will feel. The more you focus on the good things in life and what you love about yourself and others, the more you will experience these events and qualities in all areas of your life. If you feel overwhelmed by all of this, start with yourself. What do you love about yourself? What are your talents and strengths? What are others often complimenting you on? How would you like to see yourself? The best way to cultivate a desired quality in yourself is to believe and act like you already have this quality. If you desire a quality, you do contain the very same quality within, you may just need to activate it with your thoughts! So I say, get to it, and have fun with it!