You are always in control of your life!

I don't know if you're familiar with the writer and spiritual teacher named Eckhart Tolle, but his work has been instrumental to me on my spiritual journey. His first book, "The Power of Now" opened my mind up to a completely different perspective of the world. He taught me that I am not my thoughts, feelings, desires, or actions, (in other words, I am not my ego). But most of all, he taught me that in any given situation, I have a choice in how I respond, and thus I have control over how to live my life.

Tolle writes that we have 3 choices in responding to any given situation: we can accept the situation, resist the situation, or change the situation. In cases where we lack control over the situation, for example, say we're stuck in a traffic jam, we have the choice of either accepting the situation or resisting the situation. In times when we do have control, of course we can also accept or resist the situation, but we also have the power to change the situation.

Using the previous example of a traffic jam, think about how you react to being in this situation. Do you ever think thoughts like, "Damnit, why does this have to happen to me!?" or "I'm going to be late and then I'm not going to be able to do what I want to do.. my whole day is ruined!" or even just "This sucks."
It doesn't matter which of the thoughts above you are having; all of them lead to negative emotions and thus negative emanations of energy. You see, we have thoughts like these when we are resisting what is, when we resist the situation at hand. However, feeling inner resistance makes no sense because it has no power to change the actual circumstance we are experiencing, for it only affects our peace of mind in a very destructive way.

What if instead of feeding into our negative thoughts of being stuck in a traffic jam, we were to come into a state of acceptance with what is. Somebody in this state might think thoughts like, "Well, I'm in traffic, and there's nothing I can do about it. I might as well make the most of this time," or "I'm not the only one stuck in traffic, many others around me are too, so I guess we'll all have to wait it out together." Of course, thinking these kinds of thoughts rather than the negative or helpless kinds of thoughts above leads to much more desirable feelings and peace of mind. Such ways of thinking are in acceptance with what is. While the individual who thinks such thoughts realizes that they cannot change the fact that they are stuck in traffic, they realize that they can choose to accept the situation, resulting in feelings of ease rather than dis-ease.

In cases of situations that we do have control over, say how we choose to earn our living, it also makes no sense to practice resistance. If such a situation displeases us in any way, at any time we can make the choice to do something else. Say you've been working at a company for 20 years and you can't stand this job, the work itself isn't fulfilling to you and maybe you even dislike your boss. You feel the urge to quit and do something else, but you feel inner resistance. You keep telling yourself, "I've stuck it out for this long, it makes no sense to quit now and start all over again at a different place," or "I don't really have any other skills besides what I've learned here, and who knows if anyone else would hire me."

Now, while these thoughts might have some reason behind them, they are not in and of themselves the truth. Mixed in with the truth is the voice of inner resistance, or fear, of changing your path and trying something new. Sure, you may have to start all over at a new place, but you might find something else that suits you better that you actually enjoy doing. Having a job you liked would be beneficial to your overall well-being, no? And though it may be true that you don't have too many recent skills on your resume besides your current job, that doesn't inhibit you from learning new skills that you may again be better suited for or enjoy more than the ones you are using now, in a job you dislike and dread going to day after day after day.

You see, in no way are you bound to do what you do not want to do; how you choose to act is always your own personal choice. It's easy to believe we must act according to how others want us to act, by societal norms, or any other ideas external to ourselves, but this is never the case. The fact is, even if we tried to please everybody and follow all accepted cultural standards of behavior, we could never do it. There are simply too many people and too many existing ideas and codes of behavior out there for us to be able to possibly satisfy each and every one. In fact, many of the things we are told we should do are in direct contradiction to other things we are told we should do.

So, following from all of this, it really only makes sense to accept the present moment when you lack control in a given sitation and to accept or change the situation when you do have control. We can do this easily when we become more mindful of our own thoughts and as we become more skilled at listening to our own instincts and inner desires when acting in the world. If you feel the need to change an event or circumstance in your life, then get on it! The only thing that can possibly hold you back is your own thoughts or belief system. Just think of all the stories you have heard of seemingly larger than life individuals who have overcome unbelievable obstacles to ultimately become very successful in what they do. What separates such people from ordinary folks is that they hold a vision of how they want to live and they believe in their vision; in fact, they live and breathe their vision so that it inevitably becomes their reality. Though some of these stories sound fantastical or near impossible, your life could become one of them if you only allow yourself to follow your vision, believe in your vision, and ultimately let it guide you to live the life you have always known you were meant to live. So what's stopping you?